A friend recently said to me, “I am a very honest person.” It was an interesting choice of words in the moment and it made me think about the word. Honest is a funny word really … some would say it’s a word that defines a person; however, I would argue that the word defines moments in time. I mean, is one truly honest with everyone … all the time? Think of a situation where being honest to one person is being dishonest to another. I am sure you can all fill in your moment …
I often feel like I live in a black and white world, making huge efforts to push back those bastardly grey parts, but in all honesty, it’s the grey that is the relief: that moment you can give in to the unknown and lean in to the ever-present “what-if” and let go of the expectation. So what if it turns out wrong or something goes awry. What if that is exactly what was supposed to happen anyway? Isn’t life all just one big learning experience to ensure that we grow emotionally as humans?
I hope my life continues to provide me with opportunities to live a little on the edge and the wherewithal to survive in the black and white, knowing that I will not be able to resist the temptation to dip my toes into the grey from time to time to ensure I maintain strong emotional health for life’s variables.
I look back over decisions I have made and feel strongly that every one of them, right, wrong or indifferent, has lead me to this place of clarity.
So far, they have taught me a lot about myself and for that I am grateful.